Some parts of the page are meant to be taken literally, but the “words to refer to me” section is more vibe-based. The list is in no way exhaustive, nor is it attempting to be restrictive to only those words. It is, what I would say, a word soup. But that soup is like a mood board, where you can glean the vibes from the inclusions and extrapolate beyond that.
@katsumi_maki
Words
Ways to refer to me
man
boy
buddy
dude
person
friend
girl
girlfriend
bbg
boo
sister
darling
princess
daughter
honey
boyfriend
husband
@katsumi_maki
A Virtual Girl.
Pronouns and words are separated between In-person, Online, or In-person/Online. In-person only infers that the term is not really for online (and vice-versa). Terms that are Okay are for terms you shouldn't go out of your way to refer to me with, but it's fine if you do by habit.
Avoid and Never are for words or conversation topics to either avoid (or approach with caution) or never talk about, respectively.
The way people use a pronoun page, at least as is obvious from the defaults they fill in when creating a page, is usually a separation between what terms are okay for a person to use for the page creator based on the relationship they have with the page creator. Mine does not make that distinction. People who call me “honey” can vary, and that’s on purpose. For me, “honey” is a term that works just fine. I already know the type of relationship that I have with the person saying it. My pronoun page does not make that distinction of who is allowed to use those terms because I’m going to find out on an individual basis how it feels for that person using that term for me. Since I’ve already made that term permissible for online conversations, then it’s good to try out.
Let’s say they do it in a mocking way. If I don’t like that playfulness, then I’ll tell them directly: I didn’t like the way you said that. Just like I tell people my labels, that’s just the start of the conversation. After that, we are human and need to work things out socially. People can get to know me and get to know their relationship with me as boundaries, even new ones, are formed. Terms come into use that both sides like using, and it just evolves as the dynamic carries forth.
@katsumi_maki
Words
Ways to refer to me
man
boy
buddy
dude
…
@katsumi_maki
A Virtual Girl.
Pronouns and words are separated between In-person, Online, or In-person/Online. In-person only infers that the term is not really for online (and vice-versa). Terms that are Okay are for terms you shouldn't go out of your way to refer to me with, but it's fine if you do by habit.
Avoid and Never are for words or conversation topics to either avoid (or approach with caution) or never talk about, respectively.
The word soup also means different words carry different textures. “Man” is my least interested inclusion, but it is not to the point of just being listed as “Okay.” It might get there, but it is descriptive and I’m not going to argue it. “Boy” is funny, and versions like it, such as bruh or buddy, are a bit more casual, more affectionate, and preferred over man. Boy feels affectionate and casual.
@katsumi_maki
Words
Ways to refer to me
…
person
friend
girl
…
@katsumi_maki
A Virtual Girl.
Pronouns and words are separated between In-person, Online, or In-person/Online. In-person only infers that the term is not really for online (and vice-versa). Terms that are Okay are for terms you shouldn't go out of your way to refer to me with, but it's fine if you do by habit.
Avoid and Never are for words or conversation topics to either avoid (or approach with caution) or never talk about, respectively.
“Person” is a great term. Descriptive, accurate, and very broad. The broad application of it means that it is useful more globally, at least to English speakers. “Friend” does not require a relationship first on my page. All can call me friend. It will make it sound like we are closer than we may actually be, but it’s in the realm of “folks” or “folx” in the sense that it’s a charismatic way to refer to someone respectfully.
A screenshot of me as Daisy in VRChat, a game that supports immersion through a virtual reality headset.
“Girl” carries a different vibe. I can’t speak for others, but there is a certain vibe someone gives off when they are a girl. And I can get that vibe from any person that identifies with the label “girl.” That isn’t society-wide yet, but I’ve been surrounded in queer spaces enough to know, and fully believe, that women are women. I don’t mean that “girl” is automatically safe for everyone who identifies with girlhood or womanhood. It can be infantilizing, overly familiar, or just not the register someone wants. I only mean that, in the queer and online contexts where that language is welcome, I personally feel built up by the camaraderie (or purposefully using gender affirming terms for people). If they identify as girl, then I will be like “giiiirrrrrl you cute,” y’know? It’s that sort of vibe.
